I'm worried

My girl has not taken me to work in 2 weeks. I'm starting to get worried. If I continue to be absent, maybe they'll fire me. I keep hearing about how bad the economy is and unemployment being record high. Doesn't she realize that this is not the time for me to have a long period of unexcused absences? I begged her to take me this morning but she said that my paws were too muddy. Seriously, is that any reason to leave a poor pup at home? Other than the library on Saturday, I have not been for a CAR RIDE in forever. I can't control the weather!!!! It's not my fault that the weather has been so awful and I can't keep my paws clean. And on top of that, I'm stuck with Stella all day. ALL DAY!!!! I hope her stupidity is not contagious.

Just in case the paper towel tube didn't convince anyone of Stella's stupidity, this story will. My girl and boy had to go to the store. While they were gone, Stella got a bag of screws and bolts off the counter. She said the plastic was yummy. I don't think she actually ate more than one or two of the screws and fortunately, they are really, really small ones so she should be fine but the plastic bag is now in her tummy. That dog can eat anything and not get a tummy ache too.

So please, is there anyone who can convince my girl to take me to work tomorrow? I really need to go. I'm trying to use my special dog hypnotic stare on her but it doesn't seem to working. Am I doing something wrong?